Can You Identify Your Emotions?

Here’s How to Get Started

Most people think we only have three emotions: happy, angry, and sad.

But the truth? There are more than 80 emotions we regularly experience.

Right now, try to list 10 emotions off the top of your head.

I’ll wait.

How did you do? If you struggled, you’re not alone. Let me know in the comments.

Why We Struggle to Name Our Emotions

Western culture loves to oversimplify emotions—as if ignoring them makes them less real. It’s like having credit card debt and hoping if you just don’t look at it, it’ll disappear. (Spoiler: It doesn’t.)

We feel complex emotions, but we’re rarely taught the language to identify and process them. So what happens? They pile up. We feel overwhelmed. And we think something is wrong with us, when in reality, we just don’t have the right tools.

Naming what we feel is the first step toward emotional awareness. But it’s not just about words—it’s about changing the way we experience emotions.

“Sadness Is on Me” vs. “I Am Sad”

In English, we say “I am sad”—as if sadness is our entire identity.

But in Irish culture, they phrase it differently: “Sadness is on me.”

Do you feel the difference?

When we say “I am sad,” it sounds permanent, like a definition of who we are. But when we say “Sadness is on me,” it becomes something temporary. A feeling that arrived—but will also leave.

How we speak about emotions shapes how we experience them.

This isn’t just wordplay.

Saying “I feel sad” acknowledges an emotional state.
Saying “I am sad” makes it feel like a personality trait.

And emotions are never permanent. Even when they feel like they’ll last forever, they don’t.

You Can Feel More Than One Emotion at a Time

One of the biggest breakthroughs in emotional awareness is realizing: You can feel two things at once.

When I finished my master’s degree placement, I felt relieved and sad.

I was relieved because I finally had my time back.
I was sad because I had been part of a meaningful experience with good people.

If I had ignored the sadness and only focused on relief, that unprocessed emotion wouldn’t have disappeared—it would have lingered beneath the surface, making itself known in other ways.

Have you ever noticed your mood darken without understanding why? All of a sudden you're feeling upset or angry or sad, but with no idea where it came from.

When I have a good time with friends, sometimes I start to get upset toward the end, which causes me to pull away. As you can imagine, this puts a damper on the evening—until I realize I've started feeling the anticipatory sadness of leaving—even though I'm still there.

When I ground myself, I can go back to having fun and being in the moment. But if I don’t, that sadness sticks with me, whether I recognize it or not.

Emotions don’t vanish when we ignore them. They just wait.

How to Start Identifying Your Own Emotions

The good news? You can build emotional awareness. It’s a skill like any other.

One of the best tools I’ve found for this is the How We Feel app. It’s completely free, and it helps you check in with your emotions throughout the day.

Here’s why I love it:

• It doesn’t just ask, “How are you feeling?”—it gives you four categories to start with:
  Low-Energy Unpleasant, Low-Energy Pleasant, High-Energy Unpleasant, and High-Energy Pleasant.

• Once you select a category, it gives you specific emotions to choose from.

• If you don’t know what an emotion means, you can tap it to see a definition.

This makes it easier to connect words to your feelings—which is the first step in processing them.

I get no money from you downloading this app. I use it myself, and I recommend it to my clients because it works.

If you try it, let me know how it goes. Do you find it hard to name your emotions? Have you ever caught yourself saying “I am sad” instead of “Sadness is on me”?

Drop a comment—I’d love to hear.

Jeremy G. Schneider, LMSW, MFT, is a therapist, life coach, and self-care guide, helping people navigate relationships, emotional wellness, and personal growth. Want deeper insights and support? Subscribe to his newsletter or book a 1-on-1 session at www.BuildOnYourStrengths.com.